Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want to be your penis for a week.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
