I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
