Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
