look no pants
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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