I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize