yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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