I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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