How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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