He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
