i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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