He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize