piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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