How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
