After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize