I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
