I think I died a long time ago.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
