Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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