Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
