At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
