Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
