I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize