I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can I color on your dick again?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
