and you said cock pushups were impossible
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
