i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
