What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
