just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
