haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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