oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
