Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
