I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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