Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
