Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
two words...techno handjob
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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