covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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