Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
