just tell him i said nine months
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
