Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
