Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Betty ford says i'm here all night
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
