Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
