nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
