I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize