in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
