He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
