they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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