Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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