Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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