yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
