One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
