It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
