he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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