Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
