glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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