I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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