thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
