i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
