big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
