Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
