my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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