it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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