it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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