so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
