Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
