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I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
