i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize